She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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