cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
