So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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