THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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