Slut skills are useful in every country.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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