I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
