dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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