No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
