How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
