i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
