i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
