I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
