Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
