We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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