wanna go halves on a baby?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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