Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can text with my tongue
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
