I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
