For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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