Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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