I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
