a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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