I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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