do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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