my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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