I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I need water and some morals
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
