Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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