so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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