new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
