when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
