It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
