fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
