The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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