This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
