she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
