I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
