since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A bitchslap is in order.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
