Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
