Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
