i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
