Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
