I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
