Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
