Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
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