now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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