Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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