I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
