My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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