he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
