Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
