Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
