if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
