She is in my trunk
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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