its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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