he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
