idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All the doctor said was why
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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