Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
